Ok, Progressive Insurance now offers free pet injury coverage insurance when you buy one of their other insurance policies. Thank God someone finally addressed this unbelievable miscarriage of justice, this horrible wrong done to the Fido’s and Mr. Winkies of the world. My god how did it, in the greatest country in the world, take so damn long to get this done. It took the insite of private corporations to do what government should have made into law as soon as the motorcar was invented. As i understand it the Koreans have had this type of service on their pets for centuries, especially the delicious ones. So why did it take so long you ask, well I’ll tell you, i don’t know.
How would you like to be the agent who has to sell these policies. The annual agent convention went something like this…. “ladies and gentleman, now for the big announcement we have been promising, the insurance industry has been working on this for the past 18 months. We will now be offering, free with the purchase of another policy, (because when we told the focus group what we would charge for it on it’s own merits they didn’t stop laughing even when we called them a week later, and considering we made the commercials and printed all the paperwork already) Progressive Pet Policies or “peepeepee” as it will be referred to in the paper work you give your customers. We are simultaneously announcing that all our paper will be environmentally friendly because it will be made of ground up old newspaper.” (are you guys catching all these hidden references)
“Thank you for calling Ace Insurance, how may i help you?” says a voice on the phone. “Yes, this is Mrs. Calinsky, i purchased 57 cat policies from you about a year ago, and we were heading to the drive in when a seafood truck ran a red light…. .” says the voice at the other end. With all kinds of dread discernible in her trembling voice, she says”yes i remember you, (the thought bubble over her head reads “mostly the smell”) what can i do for you”? (fill in the rest for yourself, i got other fish to fry)
“Pet hospital” says this voice on another phone, “Yes this is Mr. Jones, I’m calling about my parakeet Jim, how is he?” “Hold on I’ll get the doctor, …… Mr Jones your bird is doing fine, the beak transplant went well with hardly any problem.” “Hardly?” says the voice “What do you mean hardly?” “Well says the vet, if only you had put on his tiny seatbelt, the only beak available for us to use was that of a Toucan that was killed on one of those itsi bitsi motorcycles in a accident at the circus.”
Don’t get me wrong i love animals, but when and where will it end, …….no really I’m asking you when, where?
Nolalou's Weblog 
Very funny. However do you realize how expensive the vet visits are? As someone with pets, (who cares about their pets) that was the best thing they ever came up with? Just for my little one (Pepper) her first set of shot was $175.00. It’s not quite as dramatic as you make it seem, however your analogies are always interesting.
I hate to be the pin in your funny bubble dad. No, wait…I love it. Anyway, the insurance policy covers only auto accidents when your pet was in the car with you. See, that beak transplant for Toucan Sam would still cost you, unless of course you could prove that you were driving very fast, got into an accident and our beloved childhood sugar salesman drove his little proboscis into the dashboard. Then and only then would Progressive (the only company offering it right now) pay.
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