Green Death or the last environmental train ride!!…

.. or bite the bullet -nnooo- thats lead, bad for the enviroment!

.. or kick the bucket -nnooo- you don’t know what’s in the bucket!

.. or taking a dirt nap -nnooo- graveyards are gonna get banned as eyesores and land hogs!

.. or going to the great beyond  -nnooo- can’t think of anything for this one yet!

The train pollutes but i gotta call it something!!

Look, I’m for not polluting and destroying what we leave our children. BUT. Can’t i even friggen die in peace. It’s not enough that Al Gore and his ilk are trying, and succeeding i might add, to put the government into every aspect of our everyday lives, now they are trying to run your death as well. They couldn’t get into our pockets any more than they are right now. Now they want you to have a “Green Death”, no more wasteful funerals, with all the pomp and circumstance that the funeral people shove down your throat at your most vulnerable time. Don’t want to look like a cheapskate, the guy will say, and bury your dad in an old refrigerator box. (yes I’ll need a REFRIGERATOR box, not the standard washer/dryer box, not the regular refrigerator, the side by side kind of box), bring the big hand truck. They don’t want you to use any more precious resources when you die. An article in “National Geographic Magazine” wants you to use bio-degradable coffins and wrap you in biodegradeable clothing (“newspaper” I’m thinking), then stick you in a giant oven to be cremated, the family will have to go chop wood or bring a bag of charcoal from home of coarse, and who will get my carbon credits, do i need to put that in my Will too. Why not save more and bring that casserole from home and shove it in there as long as you pull it out before it burns. Or better yet plan your death around Thanksgiving or Christmas and do the turkey or ham while you’re at it, that’ll save you a bundle on your utilities. I’ve always said that i want to be pickled if they can find a big enough jar. Everyone knows i plan to have a twenty one barbecue pit salute, with the air force flying over with one big gas guzzling jet for every year i didn’t die, a twenty mule team drawn coffin, and lots of naked dancing girls …etc, i figure if i don’t get up and chase them, then I’m really dead and you can go on with the services and cremate me.  Whoever is gonna be responsible for my funeral better start saving.